May I congratulate you on the power and detail of your fantasy life? *is awed*

Why on earth would you want a Nubian ibex? As archie knows only too well, they are simply silly. (Oops. Cockroach warning!)

when the proud ibexes start from sleep
in the early alpine morns
at once from crag to crag they leap
alighting on their horns
and may a dozen times rebound
ere resting haughty on the ground
i do not like their tirivial pride
nor think them truly dignified

Besides, I see your sissy Orlando Bloom and raise you a Jack Sparrow.