I wasn't assuming you were applying the complaint to me, which is possibly a tad narcissistic... I was getting minorly het up on the implied dismissal of my conflicted sistren as somehow weak-willed or unthinking. It's all reminding me inexorably of the enormous argument I once had with Confluence and Hodgestar about battered women and whether or not you can condemn them for not simply leaving their abusive husbands. It's very easy to say "of course it's obvious you shouldn't think that" if you're not actually the one in the situation and, as a result of a long series of cultural and contextual influences, thinking it.

We are responsible for our beliefs, but some beliefs are more savagely imposed on us than others, and are more difficult to change. And I think my point is more fundamentally the nasty catch-22 one which says that women under this kind of pressure are equally damned if they do or don't go the childbearing route, because odds are they'll resent it if they do and feel guilty if they don't. Culture's a bitch.