Or, as SFAM (http://amultiverse.com/2012/12/19/a-well-regulated-militia/) would have it, send the guns to school while you homeschool your kids. Also, arm the guns with other, smaller guns so they don't get hurt.

We don't need satire to tell us that the droolings of the gun lobby make no damned sense, but it does contribute a certain biting surreality to the proceedings.