psycho shower

[freckles_and_doubt]

So, I'm standing in the shower last night, allowing the combination of hot water and painkillers to drift me into a gently upright somnambulist state, like a horse asleep on its feet, when I suddenly notice that there's a moving shadow on the shower curtain. Something about 10cm long is crawling up the fabric on the outside. I freeze, and stare at the manifestation in a glazed, stupid sort of way, while it climbs steadily up the curtain and pokes its antennae over the pole at the top. At this point it reveals that (a) it's not actually 10cm long, that was its shadow, (b) but it's a good 6cm long, and (c) it's a giant cockroach.

While I desperately try to call in a full air strike by the pure telepathic power of panic, the wretched creature proceeds, with a jaunty stride, along the top of the curtain pole, onto the top of the shower wall, over it, and vanishes. After checking my horribly vulnerable naked self obsessively for cockroaches for about ten minutes, I emerge from the shower and look for alien insect infestations. The giant cockroach of threatening death has clearly hailed a passing taxi and departed, because there's no sign of it.

I spend the rest of the night checking my duvet for cockroaches, keeping all limbs firmly under the covers, and leaping to horrified wakefulness at the slightest sound. I draw a tactful veil over the unhappy fate of the hapless christmas beetle who dive-bombed the duvet, with an audible "whap!" sound, at about 2am. Other than that, no signs of insect life - or, for that matter, air strikes.

I feel a little frayed this morning.

Comments

beastie ambush!

[(Anonymous)]

Once, while lying in bed in boarding school, I felt a light tickle on my cheek, as of a fly landing. Shook my head. It didn't move. It started walking across my face, and I realised it was a little too big to be a fly. Instant panic. Spider death! Eeeeek! So, in an enormous feat of derringdo, I managed to shake my head violently to dislodge it. Leapt out of bed to get away from mystery beasticle. Switched light on.

It were a gecko. Awww.

scroob

[(Anonymous)]

There seems to a neww species or breed of cucaracha around lately - they are different from the ones I'm used to in being:
larger - 6cm is about right
stupider (errm, "more stupid") - they don't seem nearly as aware of descending boots as the old lot
bolder - they also don't stick to the floor. I've seen a couple here creeping along the ceiling - "Look to the Skies!"
Flightier - they seem to have come in by flying. One flew in through my backdoor like a larger, browner Rose beetle. But just as stupid.
They also seem to be a lighter brown.
I wonder if Global Warming is to blame?

[(Anonymous)]

a neww species

yes, it's a combo of "new" and "ewwww!", of course I meant it...

-KhoiBoi-

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

[first-fallen.livejournal.com]

o.m.g. i would've screamed and turned the shower head on it in the hopes that it would flush down the drain and bathroom flooding be damned.

last christmas eve we had an invasion of giant (pretty much 10cm) roaches. after standing on the couch screaming for Phleep to come kill them, erica wisely pointed out that he was in cornwall and i had to take care of this myself*. so, i squelched my instant mind-numbing "ewwwwwwwwwwwwww" reflex and, after ferreting them out of the pile of fabric bags in the corner, put empty cans on them (they were actually really stupid) and sprayed half a can of doom inside. then we sat and listened to them scritching for just over 3 hours. if they made napalm in a can, i would buy it. regular poison doesn't work on roaches. nuke them from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

-jo(ty)




*she mentioned this while perched on the table