I feel much more surreal now

[freckles_and_doubt]

One of the media gurus at My Cherished Institution maintains that the tabloid newspapers are the only source of true journalism these days, being has how they actually keep reporters on their staff and expect them to do actual investigative reporting rather than downloading the whole thing from teh Internets. Be that as it may, the person who writes the billboard headlines for the noxious scandalrag The Sun is clearly on some kind of mind-expanding drug lately. You can tell from the exclamation marks. Even fairly straightforward stories are wildly sensationalised:
FLAMES EAT CAPE FAMILY!

And yesterday's gem:
COW FLIES ON EVIL WIND!

I am completely unable to come up with a story which could possibly generate that headline, although I have a sneaking sense of happiness that I should live in a world in which it is possible.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

What amuses me are the headlines that can be read different ways. Even with these...not living there, my first translation of the first headline was that it was something about a family of capes on fire. And that second one...did a cow fly, or is it about a particular kind of insect called a "cow fly"?

When I was a reporter, I was charmed by these two gems:

"Lake thaws; dog races off." It meant that the sled dog races had been cancelled, but you know, a dog could have run away...

"Sludge being found in local sewer." I'm a SF geek. I perked right up. A sludge being? Really!?

Alas, no.

Hugs,
Dayle/Rhieinwen

[veratiny.livejournal.com]

Our local paper reported:

"BUS BULLIES ARE BACK"

I know I have always felt intimidated by buses but to go so far as to call them bullies...

[starmadeshadow.livejournal.com]

I read that and thought 'Poor buses! Dealing with traffic all day and now being bullied too!'...

[wolverine-nun.livejournal.com]

What gets me are the inverted commas. There was the headline:
WEBSITE OFFENDS 'GAYS'

I mean, really. Is this news? And do you know any 'gays'? I know gays, yes, but no 'gays'.

Mostly I'm just glad K can't read yet, as we drive to Educare in the morning past signs saying things along the lines of
CHILD OF 3 RAPED BY FATHER
MAN BRUTALLY STABBED FOR 20c
etcetera

Gah. I'll stick with New Scientist for my news.

[strawberryfrog.livejournal.com]

they feed cows on beans now?