for an encore, I shall solve the Middle East crisis

[freckles_and_doubt]

Were some sadistic sod to toss me three melons, a dozen eggs, two bananas, an umbrella, a chainsaw and a live chicken, I feel as though I could proceed to juggle them with all the calm political certainty of the Patrician in Klatch. I have just booked my ticket to France in April, where I will rendezvous with my mother in order to pack up my dad and relocate him to South Africa, after a brief stop in the UK. This has entailed more complicated Venn diagrams to accommodate the following:

1. The university term structure, curriculum advice patterns and my teaching schedule.
   
2. My available leave, and how much of my overtime pay I'm going to have to strong-arm the faculty into giving me as extra leave.
   
3. Vi's wedding, presence at which is a fixed and non-negotiable certainty.
   
4. The due date of my boss's baby, since having both of us away at the same time is severely sub-optimal. (This one bought the dust. There was simply no way to avoid it. The faculty will have to make do.)
   
5. The two-week period during which my mother can legitimately escape from her hordes of grotty boys.
   
6. My visa, with attendant French bureaucracy, requirement of letters signed by the mayor of my dad's home village, and the need to book an appointment before they'll consider my application.
   
7. My dad's UK visa, with attendant and freshly enthusiastic British bureaucracy. If they'd delayed this new policy by about six months life would have been a lot easier. Fortunately I've travelled to the UK recently enough to have a stamp in my passport, which means I squeak in under the tape on the grace period.
   
8. My dad's state of health, which is not good, which means the Gers to Cape Town in one fell swoop, with anything up to five connections to make, is likely to be unfeasibly exhausting.
   
9. The fact that it's ridiculously expensive to fly through Paris.
   
10. The Easter weekend.

My head is going round and round. Now that I've finally booked the damned thing, possibly I can also stop wandering round and round my bedroom in my sleep every night - the cat's starting to look at me very oddly.

On the upside, I should land in London at about 10.30am on Tuesday 31st March, and will only be able to catch a connecting flight or train or camel or something to France first thing the next morning. Any of you UK denizens up for random socialising that evening, and/or incredibly flyby crash space?

Comments

[strawberryfrog.livejournal.com]

We probably have crash space. How you would get into it at noon on Tuesday, I don't know.

Try the train from London to Paris, it's fast when you factor in the time that it takes to get to, through and from airports.

[bumpycat.livejournal.com]

I can also offer crash space, although it is likely to be uncomfortable. I'm also in Golder's Green, so socialising is probably in order.

[(Anonymous)]

Re 6: you can avoid the mayoral letters by pretending to have a hotel booking. You can easily make and then cancel said booking using, eg, venere.com. I have done this frequently on grounds of it being easier than getting my actual hosts to get proper letters.

Re 7: what?! Need visas to visit UK now? Quelle horreur...

Re crash space: we has it. Comfortable, even (nice futon! own bathroom!). But there will be a crying baby in the house, so, hm, possible detraction from comfort levels. One hour from St P. Close to Heathrow.

Re socialising: yes ma'am! ...it would probably be helpful if such arrangements could be baby-friendly.

scroob