for an encore, I shall solve the Middle East crisis

[freckles_and_doubt]

Were some sadistic sod to toss me three melons, a dozen eggs, two bananas, an umbrella, a chainsaw and a live chicken, I feel as though I could proceed to juggle them with all the calm political certainty of the Patrician in Klatch. I have just booked my ticket to France in April, where I will rendezvous with my mother in order to pack up my dad and relocate him to South Africa, after a brief stop in the UK. This has entailed more complicated Venn diagrams to accommodate the following:

1. The university term structure, curriculum advice patterns and my teaching schedule.
   
2. My available leave, and how much of my overtime pay I'm going to have to strong-arm the faculty into giving me as extra leave.
   
3. Vi's wedding, presence at which is a fixed and non-negotiable certainty.
   
4. The due date of my boss's baby, since having both of us away at the same time is severely sub-optimal. (This one bought the dust. There was simply no way to avoid it. The faculty will have to make do.)
   
5. The two-week period during which my mother can legitimately escape from her hordes of grotty boys.
   
6. My visa, with attendant French bureaucracy, requirement of letters signed by the mayor of my dad's home village, and the need to book an appointment before they'll consider my application.
   
7. My dad's UK visa, with attendant and freshly enthusiastic British bureaucracy. If they'd delayed this new policy by about six months life would have been a lot easier. Fortunately I've travelled to the UK recently enough to have a stamp in my passport, which means I squeak in under the tape on the grace period.
   
8. My dad's state of health, which is not good, which means the Gers to Cape Town in one fell swoop, with anything up to five connections to make, is likely to be unfeasibly exhausting.
   
9. The fact that it's ridiculously expensive to fly through Paris.
   
10. The Easter weekend.

My head is going round and round. Now that I've finally booked the damned thing, possibly I can also stop wandering round and round my bedroom in my sleep every night - the cat's starting to look at me very oddly.

On the upside, I should land in London at about 10.30am on Tuesday 31st March, and will only be able to catch a connecting flight or train or camel or something to France first thing the next morning. Any of you UK denizens up for random socialising that evening, and/or incredibly flyby crash space?

Comments

[strawberryfrog.livejournal.com]

We probably have crash space. How you would get into it at noon on Tuesday, I don't know.

Try the train from London to Paris, it's fast when you factor in the time that it takes to get to, through and from airports.

[extemporanea.livejournal.com]

I'm dying to do the Eurostar, I love train travel. I shall have to do a costing exercise.

Thank you for crash space offer! I could contentedly take you up on it in the evening, having wandered London in the interim. But the Eurostar, IIRC, leaves from St. Pancreas at ungodlyoclock - how close are you? (fails London navigation roll dismally...)

[strawberryfrog.livejournal.com]

Eurostar is fast and swish. I should warn you that the tunnel part is very disappointing - no view to speak of. They should have raised it above sea level or something.

As for getting to St. Pancras, we're closer than some. You'll be going from Golder's Green to King's Cross. If it's too early for tubes, we know reliable taxis.

[(Anonymous)]

The Eurostar service to Paris is comfortable and quick. And, as Strawberryfrog says, it's the fastest way to get across the Channel. Service is frequent - about once an hour - starting at half past five am.
The Northern Line (Bank Branch) takes about 20 minutes to get from GoldersGreen to StPancras when everything works - best to assume 40 minutes, though. Add the 30 minutes minimum pre-departure check-in requirement and ample time for walking (it's a good five minutes between the Tube train and the station).

If you choose to book through the _UK_ site * a single London-Paris ticket will cost you a bit over 50 Pounds if you book early enough (i.e. now), or a lot more if you buy at short notice.

I like the fact that you can choose your seat location. I typically choose a seat near the door, as it's a pain to walk down the aisle with any degree of encumbrance.

I'd encourage you to take a stroll through StPancras station if you have the time, whether or not you end up travelling with Eurostar, as they've done rather a good job of renovating it.

XXiii


* They seem to play with the prices. Tickets used to be more expensive if you said you were UK-resident than if you were continental European resident. But last time I bought a ticket for myself - about a month ago - the same ticket was 51 Pounds on the UK site and 230 Euro on the German site. I have no idea why.

[origamitiger.livejournal.com]

We would love to have you. Can drop stuff at my work etc if you wish or I give you keys. Etc.

[extemporanea.livejournal.com]

Bother. After all this, complicated financial and logistical wossnames dictate that, in fact, I arrive at Heathrow, am collected by my mother and head off into Dorset to leave via Bristol the next morning for Pau. (This is in fact more logical than it might at first appear).

Thank you for all offers, and it would have been great to see everyone, but it'll have to wait until next time. There will be a next time. This ticket wasn't nearly as expensive as I'd expected, and I can probably afford an overseas holiday next year sometime. I shall have to find a sexy conference to attend.

[strawberryfrog.livejournal.com]

Ok. Safe travels!

[bumpycat.livejournal.com]

I can also offer crash space, although it is likely to be uncomfortable. I'm also in Golder's Green, so socialising is probably in order.

[(Anonymous)]

Re 6: you can avoid the mayoral letters by pretending to have a hotel booking. You can easily make and then cancel said booking using, eg, venere.com. I have done this frequently on grounds of it being easier than getting my actual hosts to get proper letters.

Re 7: what?! Need visas to visit UK now? Quelle horreur...

Re crash space: we has it. Comfortable, even (nice futon! own bathroom!). But there will be a crying baby in the house, so, hm, possible detraction from comfort levels. One hour from St P. Close to Heathrow.

Re socialising: yes ma'am! ...it would probably be helpful if such arrangements could be baby-friendly.

scroob

[strawberryfrog.livejournal.com]

Yep, South Africans need visa for the UK now, apparently due to loads of fake South African passports in circulation. Or not so much "fake" as obtained by bribing a guy in home affairs to run one off on the quiet.

[wolverine-nun.livejournal.com]

wish we knew that guy...