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dragonlady7

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i spent the morning wrangling children and eating bagels and sewing with my bestie, then most of the day in a car and then all the time since then packaging eggs and washing surfaces and running around at the farm, so there was no chance to update the chapter, but i figure yesterday was extra juicy so y’all were maybe tided over.

i thought about ending the story and breaking everything else out into sequels but then i was like… why would i do that, that makes sense. so. instead. here, it’s going to trail on for a little while winding up loose ends. TBD.

Today’s chapter features Bunu Telimezh’s Inconvenient And Sudden Heterosexual Awakening, and something of a development in the Saga of Whether Deret and Csevet Are Accidentally Going To Kill Each Other Or Make Out Instead. (I genuinely wasn’t sure when I started the chapter.)

*

The kitchen staff had a barrel of wine open, and everyone was drinking festively; Echelo set a cup apiece down in front of the two nohecharei, and they drank some but mostly they just sat slumped, shoulders pressed against one another, buzzing with exhaustion.

After a bit Deret realized Cala had fallen asleep there. He should get them up, should get Cala home and into bed. Dawn wasn’t far off, and they’d have to come back on duty the next day in far too few hours, because Telimezh and Kiru were on a short shift since they wouldn’t have slept at all the previous day.

He nudged Cala with his shoulder, and in response Cala slumped down lower, his head falling onto Deret’s shoulder.

“Oh come on,” Deret said.

Cala snored, readjusted position, and did not wake.

Deret was going to have to shake him awake and pull him up. First he had to get himself up. He was going to do it. In a moment. He drank a little more of his wine, first.

*
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dragonlady7

via http://bit.ly/2KVs9ZG

idk, i think this is chapter 8? It is long and all one POV and also it is the wedding, so. this story is now earning the hell out of its Explicit rating, so do be advised. This chapter also features a truly horrifying proportion of run-on sentences and chains of comma-punctuated subclauses, and it’s not fixable, so just ride it out if you can. It’s uh a stylistic choice, ok.

A Joyous Union, on AO3, chapter oh, actually it’s 9. see, it’s good that AO3 counts things for me. Chapter 9 of A Complete Education.

*

He tilted his head to look up at her a little bit, and it was absurd how beautiful he was, with his great silver-bright eyes in his slate-dark face and his fine sharp features and cheekbones to cut glass with. “I am the Hobgoblin,” he said miserably, “Edrehasivar Half-Tongue, a misbegotten blot of a thing, but we must make do with what we have.”

“Don’t speak so of my husband,” Csethiro said, masking her real anger at whoever had put those words into his mouth under a pretend indignation. “Or I shall have to duel thee, cur, who speaks so– must I fight thee, for thy uncouth words?”

His eyes had shuttered, a little, at her first exclamation– she had not masked her real anger well enough, and he had seen it– but she had curled the last question into an obvious flirty joke, and he looked warily almost-amused. “I am not much of a fighter,” he said.

“Then thou hadst better stop thy mouth,” she said. “I did not bring a dueling-sword to bed but I will not hesitate regardless.”

“What wouldst thou duel with, in bed?” he mused.

“Fear not,” Csethiro said, “I am very resourceful, when it comes to trouble.” She gathered her courage, and took advantage of his loosened grip to pull her nightshirt up by the hem and remove it entirely, discarding it. Now she was completely naked, and he was at eye level with her breasts, which she was rapidly beginning to appreciate as the weapons of distraction that they were. “There,” she said, and boldly gave herself a little shake. “They aren’t anyone’s philosophical ideal of perfection but they are right here, which I expect makes up for many shortcomings.”

Maia had nothing to say to that; he gazed at them in a kind of wonderment, and after a moment she took his hand in hers and put it against her breast, since he wasn’t going to think to do it on his own. “Oh,” he said, as if surprised, but then he brought his other hand up, too, caressing over her back, and she had always read descriptions of heroines overmastered by simple touches but they hadn’t conveyed how good it felt just to be touched, someone’s hand open and gentle and curious.

*
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dragonlady7

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idiopathicsmile:

i’ve probably said this before but there is no purer love than enjoying a fanfic writer’s work so much that you start indiscriminately consuming every single thing they write, even in fandoms where you’ve never consumed the source material and in fact have zero interest in consuming the source material but great, now i’ve got all these orphaned feelings about characters i couldn’t pick out of a goddamn lineup

scrolling through ao3 like well shit, you magnificent and terrible wizard, what the fuck are you gonna make me care about next
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dragonlady7

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walburgablack replied to your post “adventures from the family groupchat”

I want to say spiders should be able to insulate themselves just fine, but what an intriguing thought.

I mean. Obviously they can. But. Their tiny spider paws! Their itty little legs! I was sad enough when I realized all my beautiful neoscona etc. barn spiders only live a year and die in winter, but for some reason i was just suffused with An Concern about the hogna etc. wolf spiders. They make burrows but only a few inches, they’re so wee– I mean, for spiders, they’re fucking enormous, but in the grand scheme of things, they’re only like an inch, inch and a half. And I mean, they don’t have blood or whatever, so I guess they wouldn’t suffer from cold, they’d just slow down.

But can you imagine tiny tiny spider sweaters and little booties for their tiny spider paws. OMG. I need to stop thinking about this.
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dragonlady7

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1) In case y’all missed it, the ebook of the canon source material for this fanfiction (lol that is what is important) is on sale currently for $1.99 in the US.

I am going to self-importantly claim that this is because there is just so much demand for it because everyone wants to read my fic and it was so much traffic that the publisher was like oh my gosh! time for a sale! But also, everyone should read The Goblin Emperor. So. (No, I am not sincere in this belief, but I like to tell stories.)

2) eagle-eyed reader @csevet pointed out that, duh, the Archduchess Vedero is Maia’s half-sister, but the pirate captain Shaleän, of course, is Maia’s aunt, so I had to hastily amend chapter 7 to reflect this, which gave Kiru a great deal more flailing to do and honestly enriched the conversation quite a bit so I am very glad about that. However, it does mean that I had to edit a previously posted chapter, which is a thing I don’t like to do, so I’ve put a note at the beginning of today’s chapter and am also calling it out here, chapter 7 has been revised. It was also pointed out that I have the characters’ ages all wrong, but I’ve declined to revise that; I can easily explain that by Kiru being an older woman and genuinely believing her male coworkers are all babies.

2a) incidentally this means I get to mention something I haven’t yet had a chance to incorporate into this work: Archduchess Vedero is absolutely the social head of a fantastically rich lesbian subculture that is going to flourish like gangbusters during the reign of Edrehasivar VII and I wish I had time to write a whole novel about that but rest assured, Science Lesbians is basically canon, and at some point Maia’s aunt Sheveän is going to visit and just blow the doors off the fad of young noblewomen becoming proficient swordsmen etc. ALSO Csethiro is going to go down in history as the Empress who wore trousers at court and single-handedly revived the fashion of dueling.

3) the chapter after this is the wedding and I haven’t worked out yet how that’s gonna subdivide but y’all can rest easy, there will finally be kissing in this book… tomorrow.

4) Today’s Chapter Update: Chapter 8, Our Business. The strain is getting to Cala.

*

Cala leaned against the wall, pressing his forehead into the flocked wallpaper, while Himself was off bathing and dressing for bed. Beshelar came up next to him and put a hand gently against his back between his shoulder blades. He’d been spending enough time with goblins, Cala thought, that he was starting to absorb some of their habits, if he was going around touching other people with his bare hands like that. It was pleasant, though; Beshelar’s hand was large and warm and comforting.

“Wilt thou survive?” Deret asked softly.

Cala laughed, no louder than the sound of his breath. “It’s just a headache,” he said. “We can meditate our way out of that and be fine by morning.”

“Should’st not have wasted thy wakefulness charms on me,” Beshelar said.

Cala shook his head slowly. “It is well, Deret. I need thee.”

Beshelar’s hand was such a welcome, grounding pressure on his back, and stayed there for a long moment. Cala opened his eyes and blinked at Deret, who was clearly casting about for words for a response to that. But Cala understood, and smiled, and Beshelar smiled back.

“We’ll make it,” Beshelar said. “It’s not long now.”

“Mm, maybe they’ll spend their whole first day married in bed,” Cala said, brightening a little.

Beshelar grinned. “Mayhap,” he said.

*
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dragonlady7

via http://bit.ly/2KSgj2F

I have three sisters so a while back Mom started a group text that included all of us. An exciting upgrade was a couple years ago when my father finally got his own smartphone, after years of having all his input filtered through Mom. So now the family groupchat is the four daughters, Mom, and Dad. Normally it’s used to send photos of the various niblings doing Significant Stuff around, but occasionally we get something great like the youngest niece posing artistically in front of Dad’s latest demolition project.

[Image description: small blonde girl in bright cheerful clothing strikes a coy, vampy pose leaning against a garbage can in front of a mostly-demolished cinder block building full of neat piles of junk.]

(One could almost imagine she’d done this with the power of her mind, knowing her.)

Anyhow, yesterday Dad sent a photo, which I will decline to share here, of a gloriously majestic enormous wolf spider sitting on the wainscoting in the kitchen, next to the kitchen bookshelf. “Spring has arrived. A visitor to our kitchen this morning. Mom at first thought it was one of the toy bugs, but it’s just looking up Easter recipes in the cook books.”

Various of us reacted in different ways, and I went on with my life after doing my part (looking up the spider’s Latin classification to verify it was the species I’d thought), and it was a bit later that my youngest sister got to the message.

She wrote asking if they’d set him a place at the dinner table.

In the meantime, my mind had gone a very long distance from this chat, and I had been discussing Passover seders with someone, so I immediately assumed this was someone talking about, of course, the Prophet Elijah, so I had to go poke the notification to figure out why my sister of all people was chiming in on Passover commentary (we are Catholic by upbringing, so).

It took me some backtracking to figure out she was talking about the spider.

I made a joke about it in the family groupchat but I’m the only one in the family who knows anything about Passover so it went unappreciated, so I’m sharing the setup here at least where someone might be amused.

I AM A DELIGHT also, in looking up wolf spiders, I discovered that they are not in fact signs of spring; they live more than one year, so this glorious specimen likely overwintered somewhere. Then I got distressed, to Dude, wondering where spiders GO in the winter and DON’T THEY GET COLD. He was like, uh they’re fine, don’t freak out. But a part of me wants to knit tiny spider sweaters, so let’s be glad I never learned to knit.
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dragonlady7

via http://bit.ly/2VgMD31

heartofoshun:

The Goblin Emperor Kindle Edition on sale for $1.99–highly recommend it if you have not read it.

RELEVANT!!
It’s a SIGN now you all can READ IT so you can READ MY FANFICTION lol

ETA: double-checked, this is true in US at least, here is link!
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dragonlady7

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Alert Readers may have noticed that I titled two chapters “chapter 5″ in my update posts, but rest assured, AO3 numbers that shit for you, you don’t have to actually be able to count to post coherently there. A boon, for those of us who have no real gift for organization.

Chapter 7, which apparently I titled Investigations, which is not inapt now I think on it. (I tend to upload the draft chapters and let them sit a day and then proofread before posting, and sometimes I forget I’ve titled them already. Oh, my inner workings.) (Ah I see the coffee just kicked in. H E L L O!)

In which Kiru Athmaza gets to the bottom of things, or doesn’t, in her gentle and implacable way.

*

“Beshelar explained that, in his understanding anyway, it was partly a situation of opportunity,” Himself said. “That young men without prospects of marriage turn to one another for companionship.”

“That could be a factor,” Kiru said. “And then later, those same men have attained enough social rank to marry women, and it’s not that anything about their intrinsic nature has changed, merely the opportunities that they have. But, Serenity, there are also people whose inclinations do not change with opportunity; such a young man, with prospects, surrounded by eligible young women, still would not wish to court any of them.”

“Or my half-sister,” Edrehasivar mused, “who married another woman; surely she could have found a man, had she wanted to.”

Kiru had a moment of deep confusion as she tried to piece together when she had missed that bit of news about the Archduchess Vedero, but then she remembered about the Great Avar’s bastard daughters, and the one who was a sea-captain. “Exactly,” she said.

*

Listen sometimes fanfic is wish-fulfillment, and so we sometimes gently distort the canon materials to let ourselves have these soft little worlds where pain is only really for catharsis, and where people get emotional support for things, and especially where really nice slightly-older ladies sit on the edge of our bed when we’re teenagers and gently explain the spectrum of possible sexual orientations to us so that we don’t have to figure that shit out the hard way. Shh, shh. Just let it happen. I’ve worked very hard to make it plausible.
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dragonlady7

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chapter 5 of A Complete Education, Misunderstanding, at AO3

This one is long and also contains action. Listen, I had to inject drama, I can’t help it. No Maias are directly harmed in this chapter update. The length was inconvenient; it’s two longish sections, neither of which is long enough to stand alone but together they break my neat pattern of how long these should be. Honestly it wasn’t that neat a pattern so I’m not that sorry. I console myself it’s extra exciting so it’ll go fast. LOL. Hold on through the drama and we get to the earlier snippet I posted with Beshelar the nursemaid, there’s your prize at the end.

*

Inwardly, Deret prepared himself to be murdered. It would be best, he thought, not to give resistance, and just let it happen. But then he thought of the inevitable scandal. It would probably be inferred, he realized with horror, that he himself was having a doomed affair with Aisava that had somehow gone wrong, and the scandal of it would be far worse for Himself than if he just killed Aisava. No one would believe a nohecharis had gone down in a fair fight with a secretary, because already nobody remembered that Aisava had come up as a courier, and the rough-and-tumble life of couriers was the sort of thing people only remembered in novels and didn’t really appreciate in real life.

*
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dragonlady7

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The chapter is not capslocked, don’t worry.

Chapter 5, Brotherly Advice, of A Complete Education, up on AO3, still just teasing the as-yet-unearned explicit rating with discussions of masturbation, as ever. We’re up to 26,000 words, is it a novelette yet?

*

Maia laughed, at that. “Thou hast a very specific imagination,” he said.

“If one is to adhere to one’s principles in a hypothetical,” Deret said, “one had better be damned sure of all the details of that hypothetical.”

Maia laughed again. “Only thou,” he said again.
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dragonlady7

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Today’s Goblin Emperor headcanon revelation: Beshelar can’t wink.

*

But as both of them glanced away from a radiant laugh of Maia’s that set off a blush of Csethiro’s, their gazes crossed, and Beshelar raised his eyebrows and gave Csevet a very uncharacteristic wink. So uncharacteristic, in fact, that Csevet noticed with great amusement that the man couldn’t actually wink properly, so it wound up just being a lopsided blink. For some reason that made it even more endearing.

*

(I looked it up to see if that’s common and found a hilarious Reddit thread about things some people just can’t do. Turns out a lot of people can’t wink. Listen, I can’t read a clock, so I’m not judging you adult non-winkers.)

(I had written this scene a day or two ago and had Beshelar successfully wink, but today was writing another scene and considering if he should wink and it struck me that he absolutely cannot and it is adorable, so I went back and edited the above scene and was amazed at how well it works like this.)
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dragonlady7

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Chapter 4 of A Complete Education is up at the Hugo-Award Nominated Archive of Our Own, featuring logistics and somewhat less suffering than previous chapters, but extra blushing. (oh the teaser snippet I was gonna post is one I posted already– so there’s context for that one now– so I’ll post this one instead, where the household staff all gently rib Csevet for acting his age in his free time.)

*

Nemer patted Beshelar on the shoulder. “Thou lookst like thou wast reverse-fucked, mate,” he said. “Anti-fucked, mayhap.”

Beshelar rolled his eyes. “I slept poorly,” he said. “Who fucked who?”

“Aisava fucked somebody,” Nemer said.

“Oh let him be,” Echelo said, coming back with Beshelar’s tea. She put it into his hand and paused to look at him. “He’s right, though, thou looks’t terrible. Art thou coming down with aught?”

“No,” Beshelar said crossly.

“Thou’rt early,” Csevet noted, eager to deflect discussion from his putative state of satiety. “Is aught amiss?”

“No,” Beshelar said, giving up on crossness. “I came to speak with thee, if anyone would leave off hassling me for an instant.”

“Let’s to the dining room, then,” Csevet said, “I’ll be needing to go over the day’s agenda anyway. What’s thy concern?”

“Mayhap thou canst get him laid too,” Nemer said with false earnestness.

Beshelar bore it with much better humor than Csevet had expected. “Oh, mayhap,” the nohecharis said, deadpan, “gods know that’s just what I need, in my copious free time. Maybe he can save us both time and fuck me himself directly.”

Nemer cackled in wicked delight, and betook himself out of the room, mercifully. Csevet tried studiously to meditate his ears back to their proper color, as he made his way out to the dining room with a precarious plate of toast.
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dragonlady7

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I bought a banjo! photos behind cut.

On clearance at the music store, scratch + dent plus the manufacturer discontinued it.

It’s pretty:

If anyone cares, it’s a resonator banjo, meaning it’s got a closed back with a flange that protrudes around the front so that the sound is reflected back out of the instrument, and a tone ring inside– a heavy cast metal ring that goes around the edges of the round part to dampen vibrations so the strings don’t ring a long time, which is important for fast-picking styles of play like bluegrass.

I bought it largely because the price was right, it was pretty, and it felt nice to play. The strings are a little grotty, it was clearly on the sales floor for a while, but replacements are five bucks, and maybe we can arrange with the teacher to give us a lesson on replacing them. (Or consult YouTube. Anyway I’m not that worried about them yet.)

Most importantly, Chita approves.

Anyway, now Dude and I have a banjo apiece, I can bring mine with me and practice at the farm, and I guess we should decide what kinds of music we want to learn. I’m not super-invested in bluegrass as a concept, but it’s not a bad genre overall, and that’s the style of picking we could find a teacher for, so.
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dragonlady7

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Construct, Social - kiwisson - The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells [Archive of Our Own]:

Fic Rec: MURDERBOT

Gurathin POV, Murderbot grapples with pronouns and labels. A charming little work with some lovely character notes, and a fantastic dip into Gurathin, to boot.
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dragonlady7

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Chapter 3 update on A Complete Education, featuring Deret Beshelar: Disaster Bi, and his Inevitable Opsec Freakout Over Ciphers.

(To be fair Deret’s more of a Disaster Demi but the meme usually says Disaster Bi so I’m rolling with it. Nobody does alignment charts for the grey-As, we just have to deal.)

*

Deret stood, desperately uncomfortable. In a moment, he finally blurted, “Cala, what must I do to earn back his trust?”

Cala blinked up at him, as if he hadn’t been expecting the question. Well, perhaps he hadn’t. “What must– I’m sure I don’t know, Deret,” he said. “He thinks thou wilt judge him because thou judgest everything that passes before thine eyes. I’m sure thy expression will never give away aught that causes him harm because that’s all thy expression normally reveals, that thou dost disapprove of everyone and everything thou ever didst see. Honestly it is a useful quality in a nohecharis and indubitably why thou wast so easily chosen for the job, but it makes thee not the best suited to the attendance of a nervous and abused youth facing so massively potentially embarrassing an ordeal as losing his virginity in more or less public spectacle.”

Deret had earnestly desired honesty from Cala, and now that he had it, it felt rather like he’d been kicked in the gut. He managed a breath, nodded blindly, and left the room, stumbling into his bedroom and sitting down heavily on the trunk that served him as a chair.

He breathed for a little while, shakily, then collected himself enough to get his boots off. He knew he’d been given this assignment to get him out of his commanding officer’s hair. He knew he hadn’t been popular; he’d never been good at making friends, and a large part of climbing the ranks of the Guard was in making connections with other officers in a way he’d just never been good at. But he’d been foolish enough to think none of that mattered here, that his devotion would be enough–

Well, it didn’t matter. His lord didn’t have to like him. Edrehasivar had more options now than he had when he’d needed Cala and Deret to accompany him during his coronation vigil.

Deret stood up and undressed himself efficiently, putting his outer clothes away and the inner ones into the laundry hamper where the staff would collect them. He took his robe out of his trunk and put it on, and went out, intending to go to the household’s bathing room. Cala was still sitting in the anteroom.

“I’m sorry,” Cala said awkwardly, “I said that more harshly than I meant to.”

“But thou toldst the truth,” Deret said, “so I thank thee.”

“It was needlessly unkind,” Cala said.

Deret looked at him. “Apparently, so am I,” he said. “I reap as I sow.” And with that, he left.
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dragonlady7

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purpleplunderbunny replied to your post “a bad feeling”

God i thought I was the only one who would lose their mind over this

oh no, you gotta.

because the thing about the dripping sound is that it’s not like. just a noise to bug you.

it means your roof’s not watertight and your shit’s gonna get destroyed if you don’t fix it.

it means it’s dripping ON SOMETHING.

and you’re screwed if you don’t figure out what QUICK.
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dragonlady7

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jacquez45 replied to your post “chapter 2”

i shall wait very patiently for the end, since i am not a wip-reader. but i’m so excited and happy to wait. :)

LOL, it won’t be too long, for once! I hope, anyway. I keep finding that I just have one more scene, and one more scene, and oh I meant to wrap that up, and I keep thinking I’m done but then oh! there’s one more little thing–

well, we’ll see. The vast bulk of it is done, anyway!

And, hypocritical as it may sound, I don’t blame you, because while I’m a serial WIP poster, I am not a WIP reader either. Shhh don’t tell anyone.
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dragonlady7

via http://bit.ly/2KSfbvX

The fic I posted yesterday is updated with chapter 2 now.

A Complete Education, on AO3; rated Explicit but it isn’t yet; chapter 2 of about 10 or so? currently at 9900 words. The Goblin Emperor, Maia/Csethiro preparing for their wedding, but with a lot of pre-slash background ships as everyone learns things about themselves.

Later, Cala said to him, “I thought thy face might catch fire, what in the gods’ names were they discussing?”

“Nothing of import,” Deret insisted. “How would I catch fire? I was merely watching the room!”

“Thou didst look upset,” Cala said, and lightly shoved his shoulder as he walked away.

“I did not!” Deret said. Nemer, the brave little edocharis, was passing by, and paused. “We did not look upset,” Deret clarified to him, for some reason.

“We are sure you did not,” Nemer said reassuringly, and utterly without sincerity, and made to move on.

Deret held out his hand to stop him. “Forsooth,” he said, “have we a poor control over our expressions?”

Nemer’s ears twitched, but he controlled his face. “Lieutenant Beshelar,” he said solemnly, “you are the portrait of stoicism itself.”

“Thank you,” Deret said, knowing Nemer was kidding but not knowing how to respond, and Nemer made a tiny shade of a formal bow and went on his way.
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dragonlady7

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firebuggg:

punctuation in work emails is the flower arranging language of our generation and nothing says FUCK YOU like replacing every exclamation mark with a cold hard period
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dragonlady7

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this is maybe honed to too fine an edge by the amount of time i’ve spent living under canvas but there’s just, i won’t say no worse feeling because we live in a wide and varied wonderland of a world whose depths are unfathomable, but uh, it’s a bad feeling, anyway, when it’s raining out, and you hear

you hear a drip

you know? that intermittent soft thunk

there’s a drip somewhere

fuck

and i’m in my actual like, bricks and aluminum siding house, so it’s kind of. kind of extra bad because there’s more places to look and also like, i’m kind of prepared for drips in the canvas house (which is not up yet this season because it is cold and windy as shit out there my friends) but the brick one not so much, so

where is the fucking drip goddamnit
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April 2019

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Page Summary

dragonlady7 - slightly belated chapter update
dragonlady7 - chapter update
dragonlady7 - idiopathicsmile: i’ve probably said this before
dragonlady7 - walburgablack replied to your post “adventures
dragonlady7 - miscellany and chapter update
dragonlady7 - adventures from the family groupchat
dragonlady7 - heartofoshun: The Goblin Emperor Kindle Edition on sale for...
dragonlady7 - yesterday was chapter 6 actually so this is chapter 7
dragonlady7 - chapter 5 update
dragonlady7 - CHAPTER 5 WHOOPS CAPSLOCK
dragonlady7 - Today’s Goblin Emperor headcanon revelation:
dragonlady7 - chapter 4
dragonlady7 - this machine makes a fuckin racket
dragonlady7 - Construct, Social - kiwisson - The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells [Archive of Our Own]
dragonlady7 - Chapter update:
dragonlady7 - purpleplunderbunny replied to your post “a bad
dragonlady7 - jacquez45 replied to your post “chapter
dragonlady7 - chapter 2
dragonlady7 - firebuggg:punctuation in work emails is the flower arranging language of our generation and nothing.
dragonlady7 - a bad feeling

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