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Freckles & Doubt ([personal profile] freckles_and_doubt) wrote2006-09-06 12:49 pm
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early-morning wake-up: the compensations

Recipe for cat-embarrassment, as exemplified by Todal this morning:

1. Find the big brown packet from Naga, lying on my bedroom floor.
2. Climb inside and have a lovely game rootling round inside it while I dress.
3. As I make a motion towards the door, do the usual feline joyous take-off-madly-in-direction-of-breakfast manoeuvre.
4. Neglect to notice that your head is stuck through the string handle of the bag.
5. Richochet through several rooms in blind panic, bouncing off furniture and yowling in fright as big, brown, relentless monster chases you, crackling in a threatening manner.
6. Pile up against closed study door in quivering heap.
7. Continue to quiver while bag is removed from round your neck.
8. Sulk savagely until breakfast is served (approx. 45 seconds).
9. Remember that you have approximately the attention span of a retarded herring.
10. Embrace food, and the day, uncowed.

My new mattress is lovely! I don't even feel bad about having it plucked from its happy, floopy existence in the marshes to be slaughtered, dried and shipped on my behalf: I'm not aching for the first time in days. Admittedly it smells a bit funny, as newly-slaughtered mattresses often do; it made me dream about orc invasions all night. (They were quite civilised orcs: they spared the cowering peasants, held back on the rape, and were quite enthusiastic about the hosen-clad dude who did the fancy weaving. But they definitely smelled somewhat odd).

[identity profile] khoi-boi.livejournal.com 2006-09-06 01:45 pm (UTC)(link)
So you picture Evil Landlord in lederhosen, do you. That's a very appropriate fantasy image.

[identity profile] extemporanea.livejournal.com 2006-09-06 01:56 pm (UTC)(link)
You know, that interpretation hadn't occurred to me. Possibly because said hosen-clad dude had long blonde hair in a pigtail, was wearing not-very-well-fitting hose like Jan used to, under a short doublety thing, wove beautiful wide fabric with ornate brocade patterns, most of them Naga hangings, and was rushing around remonstrating with the orcs in a faintly ineffectual fashion. In fact, in retrospect he was quite definitely gay. Not, I think, my Evil Landlord in any meaningful sense.

[identity profile] wolverine-nun.livejournal.com 2006-09-07 08:04 am (UTC)(link)
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Yu're wierd, sir.

[identity profile] extemporanea.livejournal.com 2006-09-07 09:19 am (UTC)(link)
Why, thank you, Marcie!

(Because of my cat, my dreams or my association with the Evil Landlord? or were you in fact addressing [livejournal.com profile] khoi_boi?)

Last night I dreamed that my mother had R1500 in cash (a very thick wodge of notes) stolen from her handbag in a shoe shop, and replaced with random bits of vegetables.

[identity profile] wolverine-nun.livejournal.com 2006-09-07 09:53 am (UTC)(link)
Your dreams.
(shakes head in disbelief)

I must talk toToadal

[identity profile] maxbarners.livejournal.com 2006-09-07 08:37 am (UTC)(link)
I often do the same thing myself at lunchtime in the shop.

Re: I must talk toToadal

[identity profile] extemporanea.livejournal.com 2006-09-07 09:12 am (UTC)(link)
That's the second irresistably wonderful thought you've provided today (the first being the yoghurt called Godfrey (http://blog.comovedy.com/)). Gotta love that Naga service.

Running around with a brown bag over your head must be hell on all the fragile merchandise, though.