early-morning wake-up: the compensations
Wednesday, 6 September 2006 12:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
freckles_and_doubtRecipe for cat-embarrassment, as exemplified by Todal this morning:
1. Find the big brown packet from Naga, lying on my bedroom floor.
2. Climb inside and have a lovely game rootling round inside it while I dress.
3. As I make a motion towards the door, do the usual feline joyous take-off-madly-in-direction-of-breakfast manoeuvre.
4. Neglect to notice that your head is stuck through the string handle of the bag.
5. Richochet through several rooms in blind panic, bouncing off furniture and yowling in fright as big, brown, relentless monster chases you, crackling in a threatening manner.
6. Pile up against closed study door in quivering heap.
7. Continue to quiver while bag is removed from round your neck.
8. Sulk savagely until breakfast is served (approx. 45 seconds).
9. Remember that you have approximately the attention span of a retarded herring.
10. Embrace food, and the day, uncowed.
My new mattress is lovely! I don't even feel bad about having it plucked from its happy, floopy existence in the marshes to be slaughtered, dried and shipped on my behalf: I'm not aching for the first time in days. Admittedly it smells a bit funny, as newly-slaughtered mattresses often do; it made me dream about orc invasions all night. (They were quite civilised orcs: they spared the cowering peasants, held back on the rape, and were quite enthusiastic about the hosen-clad dude who did the fancy weaving. But they definitely smelled somewhat odd).
1. Find the big brown packet from Naga, lying on my bedroom floor.
2. Climb inside and have a lovely game rootling round inside it while I dress.
3. As I make a motion towards the door, do the usual feline joyous take-off-madly-in-direction-of-breakfast manoeuvre.
4. Neglect to notice that your head is stuck through the string handle of the bag.
5. Richochet through several rooms in blind panic, bouncing off furniture and yowling in fright as big, brown, relentless monster chases you, crackling in a threatening manner.
6. Pile up against closed study door in quivering heap.
7. Continue to quiver while bag is removed from round your neck.
8. Sulk savagely until breakfast is served (approx. 45 seconds).
9. Remember that you have approximately the attention span of a retarded herring.
10. Embrace food, and the day, uncowed.
My new mattress is lovely! I don't even feel bad about having it plucked from its happy, floopy existence in the marshes to be slaughtered, dried and shipped on my behalf: I'm not aching for the first time in days. Admittedly it smells a bit funny, as newly-slaughtered mattresses often do; it made me dream about orc invasions all night. (They were quite civilised orcs: they spared the cowering peasants, held back on the rape, and were quite enthusiastic about the hosen-clad dude who did the fancy weaving. But they definitely smelled somewhat odd).
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Re: I must talk toToadal
Date: Thursday, 7 September 2006 09:12 am (UTC)Running around with a brown bag over your head must be hell on all the fragile merchandise, though.