Attack of the Giant Killer Plot Holes

Yes, it's true: I saw The Island last night, with Jo(ty). For some reason it has caused me to wake up with a pounding headache this morning, but I'll try not to let that influence me too much.

• A loud, fun, tense movie with an abrupt and rather disconcerting transition between the totalitarian calm of the first half, and the lots of things going bang, crunch and pow in the second half. I liked the slightly surreal photography during action sequences.
• Ewan McGregor used to be hot. What happened? He's just weird and geeky in this, with bad skin. Although moderately endearing in his clone role. Scarlett Johannson, on the other hand, is definitely hot, even with the tragic bee-sting on her upper lip.
• The damned film kept giving me flashbacks to the discussions I'm currently having with my sf students, on how Hollywood has this ability to take a cerebral sf concept or story and turn it into loud mindless action from which all logic has been lost. Island actually isn't as bad as it could be, in that it has the kind of plot holes that creep up on you several hours afterwards, rather than socking you between the eyes while you're watching. Then again, this being Michael Bay directing, any further socking between the eyes would be somewhat redundant. In retrospect, the headache was inevitable.
• A lot of the reviews have been very, very rude about the leads' acting ability. Actually, given that they're supposed to be playing naive, sheltered children socialised into a kind of well-behaved non-violent niceness, I thought they were quite believable. What wasn't believable was the speed with which they adapted to the Real World, TM. Realistically speaking, their encounters with the outside world should have lead to them being (a) helpless and embarrassed a great deal more, in fact to a cringingly unwatchable extent, and (b) very quickly dead. Neither of which, admittedly, would have made for a great movie.
• For first-time sex when you've never even heard of the word, that was way, way too easy.
• I am enlightened and reassured to discover that it is apparently possible not only to clone bodies, but memories and skills, too. Either that, or the sexy jet-bikes come with serious auto-pilot functions. I definitely want one.
• Sean Bean comes across as too basically nice for a bad guy, even pushing flawed paternalism for all he's worth. He was more believable as Boromir.

The trailer for King Kong causes me to wriggle all over with geeky, nostalgic glee, to the point where the completely unknown guy sitting on my other side felt impelled to lean over and whisper, "Patience! It'll be here soon!" On the other hand, am I the only adult person I know who's planning to go and see the Sharkboy and Lava Girl movie? I adore Rodriguez, loved Spy Kids - it's okay to enjoy kiddieflicks with irony, yes?

In other dispatches from the cultural affairs desk, this Worthy South African Novel that I'm reading is surprising me intensely by being not only good (beautifully written, vivid, compelling) but enjoyable. Goldarnit, there goes another random prejudice. Admittedly, I have so far wimped out on tackling the Andre Brink one.