did me some talking to the sun...

... and told him, "Sod off!" It's very hot in Cape Town. My head is exploding, although that's probably all the Tim Burton as much as the heat. The nice south-easter we've had for the last week has limped to an enervated stop. I'm all cross.

Today's two moments of Tim Burton enlightenment:

• Planet of the Apes has one of the worst, most inept, most fumbling scripts it has ever been my profound lack of pleasure to encounter. The story was always basically silly, now it's also horrendously clichéd and very badly told. And, even given the drawbacks of prosthetic ape-faces and the need to shamble, and Helena Bonham Carter notwithstanding, it's very, very badly acted. It's also clearly not Tim Burton's thing at all, in any way, and it shows. Generally an unmitigated disaster, in my book.
• I am somewhat overcome with horrified fascination in encountering an IMDB description of Burton's Luau, not because of the wierdness of the film*, but because of the hopeless linguistic ineptitude of the writer. The mass outbreaks of random inverted commas for emphasis are torrid enough, but the bit which broke me was the description of 'the beach GURU guy "Kahuna"' who "becomes dis drought" because of his boring parties. I am inclined to think, after mature reflection, that the writer possibly meant "distraught", but really it's anyone's guess.

* The film may well be weird and Burtonesque, but since I cannot extract any sense from the description, it's difficult to say.