somewhat bleak

Things that have made me depressed this weekend:

• Watching An Inconvenient Truth. Not because it told me anything new, but because it made me confront the reality that a significant portion of the human race are selfish, greedy, short-sighted and fundamentally unintelligent, as a result of which our so-called civilisation doesn't actually work, not so you'd notice. Not only that, the greedy idiots are the ones who are in charge. Where did we go wrong? It would be lovely to say that I feel proud to be human, but I really don't.
• Subsequently realising that my own response to environmental issues is, at least in structural terms, perilously close to religious bigotry. The truth is so clear, so obvious, the consequences so awful, the self-destructive stupidity of those who refuse to see it so blatant. Obviously we need tough people in charge who'll impose the necessary solutions on the useless multitudes, whether they like it or not. And I'm relying on science, not faith, but in that response I'm actually no different to all the right-wing frothers who want to outlaw abortion or otherwise codify their religious beliefs in law.
• Reading Kurt Vonnegut. "Here’s what I think the truth is: We are all addicts of fossil fuels in a state of denial, about to face cold turkey. And like so many addicts about to face cold turkey, our leaders are now committing violent crimes to get what little is left of what we’re hooked on."
• Filling in application forms for academic jobs overseas, which feels horribly like an exercise in futility. My so-called achievements look particularly puny in black and white.
• The intensification of the headache which has been sitting, like a vulture, just over my right eye for the last week. I go to bed with the damned thing rampaging, and wake up with it still sitting there, gloating. I can feel it even through the painkillers. It's a bitch.

I'd love to say that I'm all inspired and enthused by the prospect of seeing the new Spiderman movie this evening, but actually my expectations are not high. Sigh.

Shall shut up now, as extended whinging is fundamentally boring and makes me depressed.