I feel much more surreal now

One of the media gurus at My Cherished Institution maintains that the tabloid newspapers are the only source of true journalism these days, being has how they actually keep reporters on their staff and expect them to do actual investigative reporting rather than downloading the whole thing from teh Internets. Be that as it may, the person who writes the billboard headlines for the noxious scandalrag The Sun is clearly on some kind of mind-expanding drug lately. You can tell from the exclamation marks. Even fairly straightforward stories are wildly sensationalised:
FLAMES EAT CAPE FAMILY!

And yesterday's gem:
COW FLIES ON EVIL WIND!

I am completely unable to come up with a story which could possibly generate that headline, although I have a sneaking sense of happiness that I should live in a world in which it is possible.