a trumpet you can blow and a book of rules

The "Faerie's Aire and Death Waltz" (From A Tribute to Zdenko B. Fibich), Arranged By Accident, is a fairly hoary old musical joke that Dayle has just pointed out is available here, which is good, as I've mislaid my copy. Do scroll down a bit to the second page, which is even more insane. Do not, however, wave in front of budding musicians of a nervous disposition unless you have brandy on tap.

Have been offered the admin post. It occurs to me I may use some of the resulting actual money to resume piano lessons.