Date: Tuesday, 9 March 2010 01:45 pm (UTC)
Sciency points relevant and interesting illuminations to my argument, thank you! But I have to take minor issue with your last paragraph.

For a start, in this discussion I'm not really referencing the Tepper planet-raping bastards schtick (which I don't see as such, but I'm not going there now) - I'm referencing her ongoing concerns over overpopulation and the basic stupidity of the human race with regard to same. P-R B or not, everyone should read the overpopulation message, IMNSHO.

Also, please note that I did say "a far lesser tendency to look pityingly at men who've chosen not to become fathers" - of course there's a cultural imperative there, I'm arguing that it's just not as strong as it is towards women. In the kind of male gathering you describe I'd imagine there's a whole raft of pressures, and it's probably just as bad from family. Have you ever, though, had the experience of being looked up and down by a chance acquaintance who's catching up on your life, and have them say, "Unmarried and no kids? Shame, what happened?" Friends and family may feel they have a stake in your reproductive function, but I sometimes think the whole bloody world feels they have a stake in mine just by virtue of my sex.

Finally, it's the most difficult thing in the world to be a feminist and try to talk about gender discrimination and cultural bias to an enlightened, intelligent, thinking man. Because you do think about these things, and are completely not the problem, and I think it makes it somehow more difficult to persuade you that (a) yes, other men can really be as unthinking and biased and problematical, and (b) there are ways in which your empathy for women may not be complete because you do not experience the subject position in the way that women experience it, and therefore may find it difficult to believe it exists. Men have been in power in our culture for a hell of a long time. No matter how many strides we've made towards equality we are still not equal, and our attitudes are conditioned by that inequality whether we like it or not. I don't think it's unfair or unhelpful to point that out. I think it's essential. Also, I still rather like men :>.
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