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do you have a licence for your monkey?
Friday, 1 April 2005 03:47 pmPlease all join me momentarily in ritually cursing the name of government bureaucracy. I tried to renew my vehicle license this morning. All very law-abiding, only one day after it actually expires... So I join a queue, with two people in front of me, each clutching a vehicle license. Twenty minutes later (because the mills of local government grind exceedingly slow) I approach a window. The woman at the window (who has just renewed a license for the person ahead of me in the queue) looks at me and says "You're in the wrong queue. Queue there for vehicle license renewals," and points off to the right, to the massive 15-person queue, designated by identical roped-off aisles and totally unsignposted in any way, and which has doubled since I started waiting. To any of my expostulations, about my 20-minute wait, or the two people who were served ahead of me for exactly the same transaction, she repeats "You're in the wrong queue. Queue there for vehicle license renewals."
Do I have the kind of face that puts bureaucrats into a killing frenzy? I mean, really. I don't see how I was different to the two people ahead of me. I left in a thundering rage, which has given me a headache for the rest of the day, and with my license unrenewed. I console myself with the thought that, if karmic backlash has any force at all, the wretched woman is currently afflicted with boils on the butt, woodworm, lice, plagues of frogs and persistently affectionate relatives who play bad country and western 24/7.
Thundering Rage Consolation Prizes: bought myself roses, played computer games all morning, and re-read the Naked Quidditch Harry Potter fanfic, which is deeply entertaining.
I also read the second Lemony Snicket until 1am this morning, chortling loudly at intervals; the Evil Landlord probably thinks I'm insane. Favourite line: "never, under any circumstances, let the Virginian Wolfsnake near a typewriter." Also, the dreaded Snicket has apparently invented his own line in Biting Babyisms, which are curiously akin to the Tom Swifties of sf legend and song. (Tom Swifties, from the kids' sf books about a wonder boy inventor: "Tom took a biscuit gingerly", or "'Pass the lobster,' Tom said crabbily.") Sunny the baby shouts random gibberoid words which the narrator interprets, and I only cottoned on halfway through that the word is sometimes actually linked to its probable meaning. As in: "'Ackroid!" Sunny said, which probably meant something like 'Roger!'"
Do I have the kind of face that puts bureaucrats into a killing frenzy? I mean, really. I don't see how I was different to the two people ahead of me. I left in a thundering rage, which has given me a headache for the rest of the day, and with my license unrenewed. I console myself with the thought that, if karmic backlash has any force at all, the wretched woman is currently afflicted with boils on the butt, woodworm, lice, plagues of frogs and persistently affectionate relatives who play bad country and western 24/7.
Thundering Rage Consolation Prizes: bought myself roses, played computer games all morning, and re-read the Naked Quidditch Harry Potter fanfic, which is deeply entertaining.
I also read the second Lemony Snicket until 1am this morning, chortling loudly at intervals; the Evil Landlord probably thinks I'm insane. Favourite line: "never, under any circumstances, let the Virginian Wolfsnake near a typewriter." Also, the dreaded Snicket has apparently invented his own line in Biting Babyisms, which are curiously akin to the Tom Swifties of sf legend and song. (Tom Swifties, from the kids' sf books about a wonder boy inventor: "Tom took a biscuit gingerly", or "'Pass the lobster,' Tom said crabbily.") Sunny the baby shouts random gibberoid words which the narrator interprets, and I only cottoned on halfway through that the word is sometimes actually linked to its probable meaning. As in: "'Ackroid!" Sunny said, which probably meant something like 'Roger!'"
