X-tol? X-coriate? X-tenuate?

[freckles_and_doubt]

You know the problem with the X-Men movie franchise? The problem with the X-Men movie franchise is not the tragic departure of Bryan Singer; or the casting of the GOM of the British acting establishment, whose ability to actually act turns all other participants into wooden dolls; or the sheer bulk of comic-book narrative history, any departure from which causes fanboys in the audience to gasp and faint at regular intervals. The problem with the X-Men movie franchise isn't even Wolverine's silly haircut, although I have to admit it's pretty silly. No, the problem with the X-Men franchise is the X, which means I spent ten minutes with a dictionary setting up that subject line. Now I feel sillier than Wolverine's haircut.

However, I am also pleased to relate that X3, which I witnessed this morning in the pleasant company of jo and khoi-boi, isn't nearly as bad as approximately 50% of the internet would have me believe. On the other hand, it isn't as good as the other 50% of the internet maintain, either.

Things I Liked About X-Men:

• It's a superhero movie, and I get all fangirly and breathless about superhero movies. In fact, given the mutant rationale, it's possibly the superhero movie, with limitless potential to keep on adding new and cool mutant powers to the mix. I rather fell for the Beast, particularly when he's flying through the air with all four feet bunched for action, like a giant mutant kitten pouncing on an unsuspecting gerbil.
• It's a pretty enjoyable actionfest, which I think makes more use of the inherent spectacle of masses of mutants fighting each other (or simply posing strikingly) than the first two did. Jo certainly emerged all excited and hyper, to the point where I had to ask suspiciously if she'd been at the coffee and sugar, or possibly the PCP, for several days.
• It clocks in at under two hours, which makes it pleasantly retro in this age of what, despite the fact that I heart Peter Jackson, I have to call the Swollen Tentacular Cthulhoid Blockbuster of 3-Hour Doom, whose only real benefit is its ability to inculcate bladder control in the hapless viewer.
• As the surprisingly positive Pajiba review suggests, Brett Ratner, while clearly annoying and unworthy, is not that bad a cinematic technician, and has made a reasonable stab at superficially reproducing the feel and focus of the first two films, without any of his own actual, annoyingly personalised ability to get in the way.
• The opening sequence. Giant robots, too cool.
• It features, among other eye-candy, Wolverine having his shirt disintegrated by psychic psychos. Mmmm, muscles.

Things I Didn't Like About X-Men:

• The above-mentioned superficiality. There were gestures at the psychological motivations and political issues which distinguished the first two films, but no real depth or finesse. Many of the character plots felt rushed and superficial.
• It killed, removed or otherwise shafted some of my favourite characters. I still haven't recovered from Joss doing this to us in Serenity, so I'm smarting rather.
• Waste, as in waste of good character possibilities. As d_hofryn points out, Magneto does some silly things in this film, including some unconvincing rabble-rousing. He was a deeply convincing villain in X2. Here, not so much. Phoenix is really under-utilised, her main purpose seems to be to wear a cool outfit and channel Evil Willow From Season 6. Angel, while an enormously interesting potential for oedipal angst, is simply silly, possibly even more so than Wolverine's haircut.
• The psycho psychic managed to remove all of Wolverine's clothing except the remnants of his trousers, in the inevitable Incredible Hulk-Pants effect. So difficult to get really good evil psychics these days. No follow-through.

In other news, my desk is submerged beneath four separate piles of marking, with a curious mix of vampires, medieval romance, and misguided students attempting to find parallels between Gladiator and Chaucer's Wife of Bath. I distracted myself from this suitably for most of the day not only with X-cursions, but with a visit from the wolverine_nun-spawn and her mother. (The former spent several minutes chewing a plate, although I hadn't thought she was onto solids just yet. Perhaps she's a mutant baby with titanium teeth and a desperate digestive need for ceramics). As a result of all this distraction, I will now perform my characteristic disappearance into the pile of marking, with a muffled, despairing squeak. Dispatches from the front may follow. Or not.

Comments

[strawberryfrog.livejournal.com]

Never mind all that. Where. Was. Nightcrawler!

[extemporanea.livejournal.com]

Good point! I liked Nightcrawler, he was rather endearing, although that may simply be because years of living with my Evil Landlord have deeply imprinted me with the German accent. He's a strong and interesting character, it's an enormous pity he simply dropped off the map without even a nod in his direction to say he's back at the Circus in old Berlin, or whatever.

[(Anonymous)]

He is a strong and interesting character, very well done in his brief appearance in X2. He was one of my (and many others) favourite X-men from the comics, and was also one of the long-running core members of the comic x-men's fighting team, so where was he?

[extemporanea.livejournal.com]

One of the interviews on the X2 DVD entailed the Nightcrawler actor, Alan Cumming, having himself a lovely whinge about the X-igencies of getting into blue face paint for each shoot. He implied that he would not be available for a sequel for this reason. Dingbat. (I have the impression that the actor takes himself somewhat too seriously for all this superhero fluff. Gods, his website (http://www.alancumming.com) is downright narcissistic).

[strawberryfrog.livejournal.com]

We hates him forever!

[pinkthulhu.livejournal.com]

He is a bit poncy. I wasn't that keen on Nightcrawler, mostly because Alan Cummings annoys me.

[pinkthulhu.livejournal.com]

Gods, now I've just remembered he played the annoying Russian scientist in one of the recent Brosnan Bond films. Grrr. It was the one that had Sean Bean as a bad guy, I think.

[(Anonymous)]

Goldeneye - Boris, who turned out to be not so "inweeenseeble"

[kadekraan.livejournal.com]

He was very good as the odious Sean Walsh in Circle of Friends (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112679/)

X-actly

[pinkthulhu.livejournal.com]

(!SPOILER ALERT!)

I also thought the film was great! Some more thoughts:
- You might be pleased to hear there's talk of a Wolverine movie spin-off. Whether or not his britches stay on remains unrevealed.
- I felt Angel was under-used.
- Of the characters they killed off, notice how few were truly irrevocably lost. Only Mystique, one of the coolest, seems to be gone for good.
- How lucky are we that Magneto's mob all had punk street costumes and tattoos and piercings and what-not to show they were the bad guys.
- Did you stick past the credits (Greensman? 2D Graphics?) to see the 10 second epilogue?

Re: X-actly

[(Anonymous)]

"Only Mystique, one of the coolest, seems to be gone for good."

Well, if that thing with Magneto and the chessman was any indication, possibly not.

Interesting trivia - in canon, both Mystique and Wolverine are much older than Magneto. I was chuckling at Logan being called "boy" by someone 1/3 his age.

-KhoiBoi-

Re: X-actly

[strawberryfrog.livejournal.com]

Film canon is not comic canon, and in the film Magneto is older.

Re: X-actly

[extemporanea.livejournal.com]

You're right that film and comic-book canon may well be different, but do we have any evidence from the films that establishes Wolverine's actual age? He's a regenerating human, the fact that he looks younger means nothing, and he can't remember his own origins. I think the film franchise deliberately leaves space for the really-old-Wolverine - I'm hoping they'll develop it in the Wolverine film. To which I am looking forward, although if Brett Ratner directs I'll be pissed off.

Re: X-actly

[(Anonymous)]

Not to be pedantic, but I think you mean "Magneto looks older". We know he was a kid in WWII. We've never seen Logan's past pre-Alkali Lake, so there's nothing that contradicts canon. I generally maintain, with comic book movies, that anything from the comics that isn't directly contradicted by the movies, still stands. YMMV.

Re: X-actly

[strawberryfrog.livejournal.com]

For "is older" you may substitute "looks, acts and thinks he is older" Sorry, I forgot we were talking about comics here.