practical cats

[freckles_and_doubt]

Generally speaking, I approve of cats. I like them; I wish them well; I am always ready, after we have been properly introduced, to scratch them behind the ears in a well-meaning fashion. I am devoted to our four felines, under whose furry thumbs both I and the Evil Landlord contentedly exist.

I do not, however, extend the above warm feelings to the fluffy black-and-white tom that has spent three days terrorising our cats; should it show its raccoon-face anywhere in my vicinity, we shall have Words. I had to rush Todal to the vet this morning, after finding her crouched on the Evil Landlord's bed, hunched, yowling and crapping all over the place. I thought she had some kind of massive internal problem; she screamed in pain when I picked her up, and she was yowling and panting all the way to the vet. It turns out the bloody tomcat calmly wandered into the house this morning and, practically under my nose, really beat her up - she has massive bites all over her tail, belly and back legs, and is severely traumatised. The vet pumped her full of painkillers and antibiotics, but she is so traumatised that she vanished over the back wall the instant we got back and I opened the cat basket. I tried to grab her, but didn't want to hold her too tightly because she's so sore. I'm livid that the experience has caused her to identify the house, her house, as a place of trauma rather than safety.

So, I've spent the day wandering out back and round the neighbourhood at intervals to call, uselessly - I know she's holed up somewhere in a neighbour's garden, recovering in that private way sick animals have. I can only hope that she comes in for supper.

And I'm plotting revenge. That bloody black tom turns up again, it will speedily find itself:
1. grabbed,
2. thumped,
3. hosed down with a hosepipe,
4. stuck in a box and hauled off to the vet, and
5. castrated.
The unpleasant-association game can work both ways, after all.

Comments

[ex-wytchfyn.livejournal.com]

Oi. Sorry to hear about that. Our dog had a minor working-over from a terrier two weeks ago and it brought my 'Old Testament God' side right out, so I empathise.

[extemporanea.livejournal.com]

It's actually amazing, the degree of retributive rage. If this is the level of protective anger my cats inspire, memo to self: ixnay on the kids, as tearing people's throats out with my teeth often offends.

[(Anonymous)]

Give it an extra thump or two from me, won't you?
everymoment.

[khoi-boi.livejournal.com]

I think you're talking about more than unpleasant associations there. Lopping the gonads off will probably adjust the behaviour anyway. But yeah, shave a rude word for his owner into his fur, too.

I hate people who won't neuter their pets. And I especially hate roaming toms....

[extemporanea.livejournal.com]

The point is a dual program: knackering the beast should remove a bunch of the urge to attack, and a healthy dose of aversion therapy should get rid of any remaining urges. A little redundancy never hurts :>.

[origamitiger.livejournal.com]

Evil animal!

[wolverine-nun.livejournal.com]

Good luck catching the fiend. Our evil invader cat is impossible to catch. One day, P heard crumbles being munched, did a quick head count of cats with sudden urgent appointments in the bedroom, and headed on tiptoe to shut the back door. We managed to catch it in K's room (before she lived in it) and threw some water on it, mostly missing, and then it got out of the window. We thought it would be stuck in the courtyard, but it flew up the wall. The wall that Megaera (who is really a monkey, just looks like a cat) can't get up. That's the closest we've got to it. Oh, and P poked at it with a stick. But catching it in our hands just wasn't possible, and if we did, we'd probably have come off the losers.

Mostly, it hears us coming, slips out the back security door, and while we're unlocking it, unconcernedly jumps on the wall, pisses on top of it, and saunters off slowly. Bloody animal. The other day (hallelujah!) it occurred to the cats that 3 on 1 might be a good idea, so we have hopes that there might be light at the end of the tunnel.

[d-hofryn.livejournal.com]

Is she ok? Did she come in for dinner? I'd like to personally bath that tom...in the toilet!

[extemporanea.livejournal.com]

She did come in late yesterday afternoon, and spent the evening cowering under one of the living-room chairs, with her eyes like saucers (those hugely dilated pupils), starting and cowering at sudden noises. But she ate dinner properly, and seems more or less back to normal this morning, if a little jumpy and stiff.

[pinkthulhu.livejournal.com]

On a more positive feline note:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/tv_and_radio/5078706.stm

[wolverine-nun.livejournal.com]

Good grief...
And only in America would they have had the fish tank with fake fish. Oy.

[extemporanea.livejournal.com]

Ye gods, that's perverse. I am all in favour of promoting animal adoption, but... lordy. The anthropomorphic principle makes me cringe.

[pinkthulhu.livejournal.com]

And in other cat news:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/06/15/angel_demon_cat/