horns of dilemma: pointy, uncomfortable

[freckles_and_doubt]

Today's piece of real-life pathos: I just gave curriculum advice to a student all worried about potentially failing an exam. She apparently felt she wrote really badly because her boyfriend chose to break up with her the night before. By SMS. The youth of today have whole new levels of technological enablement to basic lack of class.

While on the subject of curriculum advice, I need to do one of my periodic Hit The Witterers For Input things. I figure if I'm going to collect a bunch of highly intelligent and accomplished people in this random virtual fashion, I may as well make the most of them.

There is a job being advertised in my faculty, for the full-time, full-contact version of the curriculum advice I've been doing part-time all year. Certain of the Powers That Be have intimated that they would be rather happy if I applied for it. This creates a sudden, sharp dichotomy in the field of possibilities for next year. The lineup looks approximately like this:

Option 1. Full-time curriculum advice.
Advantages: regular salary in high pay-class, with medical aid and benefits. A job in which I have experience, knowledge and skill. Continued contact with students. Respect. (Probably). The chance to organise people to within an inch of their lives. Possiblity of doing it for a couple of years while publishing madly before attempting re-admission into actual academia. Ability to move all the junk from my current campus office into another campus office. Continued contact with academia and my Cherished Institution.
Disadvantages: may not be offered the damned thing anyway. Lack of access to teaching. Nine to five job. (I suck at those). Administrative responsibilities of position considerable, and likely to drive me demented at certain times of year. Full-time job unlikely to leave much room for research. Definition of self as Non-Academic, doing violence to identity. Sense that Those Bastards would have Won. Fear that sticking toe even further into admin waters will cause the somewhat circumscribed thinkers who might inhabit academic selection committees to take me even less seriously as an academic than they already do. Continued contact with academia and my Cherished Institution.

Option 2. Freelance editing, teaching and Independent Scholarhood.
Advantages: independence, flexibility, work from home. Editing is closer to the research/writing mindset than is administration. (Trust me on this). Ability to structure in enough teaching to keep my hand in without draining my energy as currently. Less likely to look bad on an academic CV. Portable, should I eventually choose the Bugger Off Overseas route. Closer to Ideal Sense Of Self.
Disadvantages: irregular earnings and concomitant tendency to keep my mother awake o'nights; no benefits. No commercial editing experience. No real idea as to what I could realistically earn doing freelance work, or how fast I could start said earning. (Memo to self: pick pumeza's brain.) Home study really small and would need to absorb all the crap from my campus office: warped space-time levels already dangerously high owing to knitting.

[Poll #1085057]
Any insightful, disparaging, encouraging, illuminating or other comments gratefully appreciated. I'm slightly tying myself into knots with this one.

Oh, and by the way. The repeat incursions of Sid (today is like Tuesday, only more so) are making me cheesebrained, which means d_hofryn and I still owe first_fallen a birthday present (f-f, you can stop reading now). I got as far as actually pricing said article yesterday, and it's slightly more than I expected or we're able to pay. Anyone else out there who shares the first-fallen love and still owes her a present of the birthday persuasion? Other chippers-in sought! Please drop me e-mail! (Part of the reason for the organisational debacle of abovementioned present is that the go-to co-ordinating person for present conspiracies in my immediate social circle is first_fallen. These ironies bite.)

Comments

[librsa]

My knee-jerk advice would be to go for the sense-of-self solution. But then, if I recall correctly from this very blog you do get satisfaction from curriculum advice. Tricky. Sounds like (since you are not assured the position anyway) you should apply if only to keep your options/considerations open. You don't _have_ to sign the contract, after all.

[bumpycat.livejournal.com]

Make your choice based on what you want, not on false blandishments of monies. And, look into the heading-overseas thing. Eg, London. :)

[(Anonymous)]

I don't even know how to vote this.

And, I would not choose any of the available options, anyway.

My 5c (you got R99.95 last night...) is that option 2 lacks info, and is therefore very difficult to assess. So my muddled suggestion is EXPLORE freelance editing in very serious terms (who would employ you? how likely is that? how often could you work? In a good month? In a bad month? Are there lulls and highs in editing? (Who knows? maybe they are perfectly aligned with lows and highs in teaching!) And finally, how much do you get paid, per job, per hour, per word, whatever. How do you get taxed? Any hidden costs? (Qualifications, courses, computers, ?)

...and while you are exploring, apply for job. Tell them you have other options, by all means, but apply. Don't let it slip by...

:)

Jo

[extemporanea.livejournal.com]

This is very valid: just typing up this post made me realise how little I actually know about the freelance thing. The plan is to get cracking on it in about a week, when I'm over the marking. This is a horrible time of the academic year for life-changing decisions.

And, yes, to everyone who says apply for job anyway: this is the plan, as I realised while talking to schedule5 a few minutes ago. Can't hurt. (Might annoy the faculty a bit, but I can live with that).

[nimnod.livejournal.com]

ALWAYS APPLY - it must be somebody or other's law, but don't ask me. Also investigate other options quietly on an ongoing basis as if you're sure you won't get admin job, or don't want it. Look into part-time study that could run concurrently with admin job. You may get f-all done on said part-time whatever, but on CV it looks like you funding your passion for academic subject by working for said Cherished Institution. Academics on future hiring panels will understand that. If they offer you the job you have the option of turning them down; if not, you do what you were going to do anyway.

[strawberryfrog.livejournal.com]

1) Like they say in the pep-talk books, "develop your BATNA" - this means exploring option two, in order to better know how good it is, and thus what it is better than.

2) I'm told that writers take often take jobs that provide them with enough money, security, time and free mental energy to write. Is option 1 such a job?

Octopodian

[wolverine-nun.livejournal.com]

Oh jeez. One the one hand, get thee hence from this institution that deserves no cherishing from you. Run. Don't look back. On the other hand, I think a 9 - 5 job would be good for you (don't hurt me!). I think idle time at home is far too tempting for you. On the other hand, a stable salary is a Great Thing. A Really Great Thing. Do not underestimate it. It isn't "only money", it's "money! real money! weight off shoulders, can have a decent life money!". On the other hand, I think you're right that you'll be taken less seriously as an academic for taking the job. On the other hand, I think your sense of self would be positively affected by having a stable job you're good at with a good salary. You'd fele good about yourself. On the other hand, I think you'd enjoy freelance editing etc if you could get into the market. On the other hand: what market? On the other hand: take the job and I think you can kiss research goodbye. You'd have to reconcile yourself to that. You'd be in admin forever. Is that so bad? Perhaps it is.

God, I don't know. Pick pumeza's brains.

Re: Octopodian

[extemporanea.livejournal.com]

Won't hurt you, promise. You are not the only person to point out that I have a certain lack of self-discipline with the at-home working bit, and a 9-5 job might actually up my productivity by getting me into a working mode. It's an extremely valid point. But I think freelancing, as tending to have commercial pressure and deadlines, has a reasonable chance of achieving a similar effect.

Re: Octopodian

[(Anonymous)]

"freelancing, as tending to have commercial pressure and deadlines, has a reasonable chance of achieving a similar effect"

Not so much. Take it from a long-time freelance editor.

My thoughts overall:
1. Like w_n sez, money is Good and Not to be sniffed at.
2. Yes, you seem to like doing it (mostly), and there's the Cherished Institution part, and all that.
3. In general I am a cheerleader for Freedom and Leaps into the void...
4. BUT I frankly don't think you'll enjoy the life of a freelance editor. It is BORING, oh so much more boring than you think. And stressful, with the uncertainty and constant chasing of work and all.
5. The only real problem with option A, to my mind, is that it will be *very hard indeed* to do research in your so-called free time. You won't have any. You'll be tired. Etc. So it's not going to help you achieve your ultimate goal.

So I'm no help at all.

[starmadeshadow.livejournal.com]

My 5p worth is that you should imagine how you would feel taking the job. Could you really stand it? Would you really have enough energy to publish after hours? Students are energy suckers, no matter how bright and enthusiastic they are. If your heart sinks even slightly at the thought, then don't even apply. You've spent too long forcing yourself to do stuff that makes you unhappy; it's time you did something that you enjoy. If you apply and get the job, then the logic of taking it might well prevail, and then you're stuck doing something you don't want to do, but with enough incentive that it will be hard to leave. I also think that time away from UCT would be a really good thing.

But of course, if full-time curriculum advice floats your boat, then yay! job! pension! supportive pom-pom dance! =D

[origamitiger.livejournal.com]

God, that is hard.

Apply for the job you can tell them to shove it if needs be.

Looking into the freelancing very carefully, if it is going to pay the bills and keep you in hand bags then posibly do it.

Another thought is job sharing, is the postion open to that? Would they entertain that thought. working part time to pay the bills and establishing yourself freelance as you go along.

I am in my second choice but I decided I need to pay the bills in my particular circumstances.

Part-time

[schedule5.livejournal.com]

This would be my ideal solution too. If it is at all possible to wangle shorter than 9-5 hours, accept the job with gleeful squee'ing. I *love* working a short day, having money, and still have some time / energy left by the end of it, usually.

[origamitiger.livejournal.com]

Opps managed that as a reply instead of a stand alone, doh!

[mac1235.livejournal.com]

Publish madly, then apply for re-admission to academia... at another university.

[extemporanea.livejournal.com]

Congrats on your engagement! Now I don't know whether to comment on your comment or tngr_spacecadet's comment or on your actual blogs or.... aargh. *head explodes*

Congrats to you both.

*gives up*

[(Anonymous)]

I think I'm probably echoing everyone else.... Take the job, sock away as much money as you can, and explore the freelancing option in the meantime. They say you should have at least two years' worth of living expenses in savings before you go freelance.

Cheers, Dayle

my brains are pickable?

[pumeza.livejournal.com]

Not sure I have many left given the wafty way I've been lately, but basically: what Jo etc said. "Freelance editing" covers a multitude of things from late-night dash subbing at the newspaper through books (fiction, textbooks, whatever) with a whole lot of other stuff in between. There are at least three things all editing jobs have in common, though:
1. They're not very highly valued (I give you the Cape Argus as exhibit 1) and by the same token not very highly paid.
2. They require a level of engagement with and attention to words and stories that is inimical to getting any other writing work of your own done. After x hours of staring at a screen and wrestling with words, the last thing I want to do is spend more hours staring at a screen and wrestling with words. Perhaps it's just me being lazy, but there it is.
3. A lot of the time you will end up having to edit stuff that has been poorly conceived, researched and written in the first place, and that you KNOW you could have done better yourself. This is not good for sense of self or self-esteem.

For all of the above reasons I now avoid editing work unless it's a special favour and paid by the hour. (Being paid by the word is Evil and To Be Avoided).

All of that said, it might be a good idea to get away from the Cherished Institution because it's been messing with your Sense of Self for a while now and leopards don't etc. (Although still apply for the job! if only to turn it down). But there are many more options out there than editing... you could write scripts for TV scifi or mobile phone games or web comics or whatever, or promote your knitting blog shamelessly so you can put ads on it and earn income while pursuing a book deal, or join forces with whichever of you more brilliant students is about to create a kickass startup, or.... you get my drift. Does your current financial position permit a holiday so you can completely ignore all this for a while?

Real job good, if you can save for TRAVEL

[rumint.livejournal.com]

We in the frozen north are fairly sure London would be greatly enhanced by an extended recon on your part at least. Between bumpycat & Starmade, that's already 2 local academic outposts you have spies in ...

[wolverine-nun.livejournal.com]

I think, if you take the job, but still want to publish, etc. you should do soemthing like I did for that semester of my thesis: set up a weekly meeting with someone (like me) where you discuss what you've worked on in the last week and what you plan to do next. Otherwise, I sorely fear your research will come to a fulls top and you'll have lots of ideas, but they won't get into journals.

It helped me a lot through a bad patch of my thesis to talk things over with you on a weekly basis. In fact, it probably saved my thesis from extinction.

[wolverine-nun.livejournal.com]

If you get this job and thus have a permanent position at Faculty level, will your current dept still hire you ad hoc to teach courses? If so, you'll be paid extra for that, and you'll earn *even more* money. Money is good. Very good. Extremely good. I must admit, I think I'm leaning towards you going for the job, even though I think you've given this institution too much of your blood already.

Also, if you apply and *don't* get it, I fear for your state of mind :(

[wolverine-nun.livejournal.com]

That said, I'd like to change my poll response. Please take one off the FREEDOM choice and add one to MONEY choice.

[tngr-spacecadet.livejournal.com]

Subsidised medical aid is a Good Thing. Ditto paid leave. And people who work at universities in admin jobs seem to get asked to teach anyway.

[egadfly.livejournal.com]

Egad! This is a tough one.

It's easier to say what you shouldn't do:
(1) You shouldn't go into freelancing/contracting/etc. unless you know exactly what you are doing (preferably with your first, long term job lined up); or unless (as Dayle says) you have considerable savings. Really. The risk of "frustrated and desperately poor" is too high.
(2) You shouldn't take a route that closes off academic research and writing to you. Curriculum advice may be satisfying, money may be good, but I can't think of anyone more suited to English academia than you, and you should permit no crushing of your spirit.

The abstract principle, of course, is that you need to find something that meets your current needs while at least offering potential paths to where you want to be in future.

I think there's something in short_mort's job share idea. You can put it to them more specifically than "job share". What if you tell them that you'd like to do the job, but you also want time to pursue writing and research, and would need to find a way to make that possible. Perhaps the job can be done as well, from their perspective, 4 days a week, or with 2 afternoons off, or something. It saves them some money and you probably still end up with a decent income. It also reminds them that you're an academic doing curriculum advice, not "just" admin/support staff. They ought to respect that, and if they don't, I would opine that you have very little reason to respect them.

I know at least one person who has taken a similar approach with your very Institution - essentially she told them that she didn't think the job they advertised was the job that needed to be done, and if she did it, she'd do X instead. They re-wrote the job description to X. The circumstances were different but it demonstrates that job negotiations can be a two-way process.

1 day a week for research and writing (plus any weekend time you decide to sacrifice on the altar of ambition) is still very little, and it would require considerable discipline to make something of it. But at least it's possible, which would probably not be the case if you were working full time.

If 4 days turns out to be too much, worst case is that you can use the time to investigate other options, and build up some cash reserves.

I still think your best bet is a real job at a real institution in a real country. (Oh, the first-world-centric snobbishness - but justified in this context, I think.) However I recognise that that's a huge step and probably not one you're going to take next month. In the meantime, you should avoid anything that will rule that step out in future. I suspect it will be much easier to apply for academic jobs if you're a curriculum adviser who is also publishing, than if you're a curriculum adviser who'd really like to be publishing but doesn't have the time for it.

[egadfly.livejournal.com]

Therefore I have voted for "Go for the full-time admin post and MONEY!", but subject to the above impassioned burbling.

Umm...

[(Anonymous)]

Not sure what to say. I think you've been given all kinds of good advice. Good luck with sorting through it all and figuring out what works for you. Will be watching the spot.
everymoment.
PS I tend to agree about applying for the job, btw. More options open are always good (though possibly more confusing).