also, the steak was tough

[freckles_and_doubt]

So, you wander into an upmarket Cape Town restaurant in the usual end-of-month ritual, with the usual three bottles of wine for the four of you. The maitre d' looks down his nose at you and remarks, "I see you've brought your own wine" in a tone of profound disapproval. Five minutes later the sommelier (they have one) arrives and tells you that, despite the R50 per bottle corkage fee, they usually only permit one bottle per table of four. As a great concession, her manner says, you will be permitted two.

The waiter has a French accent, I suspect from the Congo or such. He asks if you want still or sparkling water. In keeping with a unanimous Salty Cracker resolution you always ask for a jug of tap water on symbolic ecological grounds, in protest at all those bloody unnecessary plastic bottles. Waiter looks taken aback, but agrees and wanders off. Two minutes later he arrives with a bottle, announces "Still water for the table", screws off the lid and starts pouring. He is miffed when you call him on it and re-specify the jug. You are, however, eventually given a jug, which to his credit the waiter is assiduous in refilling.

You are forced to admit that the food, while good, is not in any way up to either the price, or the seriously unpleasant atmosphere engendered by the fact that the staff clearly feel you don't take your food seriously. You amuse yourself somewhat by listening to the pretentious wine-talk from the sommelier guiding, from on high, the next door table through their dining and wine experience, and by picturing the cowed basement existence of all the muted little slave-girls who clear the tables. You decline dessert in a marked manner and tip below ten percent. You are forced to conclude that you are not, in fact, in the market for the experience the restaurant is selling.

Then you blog it. Because you're nasty, you include the name of the restaurant. Aubergine, in Barnet St. in the city bowl. Avoid like the plague, people, unless you like your ambience at seriously low temperatures. Jo's full review snarkage at Salty Cracker sometime soon.

Comments

[starmadeshadow.livejournal.com]

That's really a pity. I went to Aubergine about ... gosh ... 8 years ago, and it was just lovely.

[extemporanea.livejournal.com]

Yes, so did Jo, and also loved it, which was why we tried it this time. I'm sure it is lovely, in a lot of ways, but we seriously weren't into - in the sense of being actually offended by - the experience they were offering. We do, actually, take our food pretty seriously, and I think it's possible to be a restaurant who does that without also coming across as alienating and pretentious. (Hell, Ginja did it perfectly. And the food was better, too).

[mwotn.livejournal.com]

Shame that. *strikes one off the list*

Dining in London is an even more depressing experience, because you either go to a good restaurant and pay approximately a week's wages for the meal or go to a rubbish one and get crap service. And then they have the nerve to add a service charge (I refuse to pay service charges unless the service is up to the mark, on principle)

[(Anonymous)]

It is my contention that in London restaurants, even at the very top end of the wallet-pain scale, you are lucky to get at best 2 out of 3 of the essential elements: food; service; ambience. Yes, there are of course a few (very few) noble exceptions, and funnily enough your chances improve with the prices, but even so. Cape Town is, generally, a much, much better place to dine. So is Joburg, actually.

scroob

[mwotn.livejournal.com]

I shall bear that in mind when in SA.

For the moment, though, I shall stick to Derby, where your hit rate is much higher and the prices much more reasonable.

[bronchitikat.livejournal.com]

Avoiding the place as advised.

Am reminded of the Sommelier at the hotel on our honeymoon. We'd regularly ask for a jug of water - heck, it was the Scottish Highlands, just opposite the Isle of Skye so what's not to like about the water? He'd bring it & deposit it on our table while turning away, almost backhanded. We found it amusing.