feeling battered

Sunday, 17 May 2009 09:54 pm
freckles_and_doubt: (Default)
[personal profile] freckles_and_doubt
Oh, joy, after a week of exhaustion, weird spaceyness and the short-fuse temper from hell, the head-cold part of this bloody 'flu thing has hit. Once again I am a disgusting object, with Sid the Sinus Headache joyously laying cement in my skull. I managed, however, to distract myself from it sufficiently this evening to help the Evil Landlord produce a fondue evening for jo&stv and sven&tanya, which was fun, particularly since I elected to try out tempura batter in the fondue pot for the first time. (Verdict: good, and lightens the meat-heavy quotient of your average oil fondue, although it's difficult to get the fat truly hot enough on the tiny spirit flame). We fondued thin bits of sweet potato, butternut, brinjal, carrot and asparagus. Also, tempura-battered prawns ftw.

The really weird meeting of minds I have with Jo can be indexed in the perfectly serious fifteen-minute discussion we subsequently had about the exciting and inevitable art installation we could mount by disassembling a brand new latest-model Japanese small car (Honda or Toyota, or possibly a Suzuki motorcycle), and tempura-battering and deep-frying its component parts before reassembling and suspending it in exploded-car-diagram format. We feel this would constitute profound and self-aware cultural commentary, emblematising the interchangeability of consumer-cultural paradigms while simultaneously investigating notions of "freshness" and "value"1. We are open to grant offers which would enable the realisation of this promising but expensive and technically challenging work. Or, for that matter, to franchising.

The Telkom saga continues: while they actually installed my dad's phone line on Thursday, we've been unable to phone any international numbers. When I phoned the helpline to report the fault, they told me, in tones of dulcet surprise, that oh, no! of course you can't get international lines, they're automatically locked with a new phone, and you need to have them unlocked. No, of course you can't do it via the helpline, you need to go into the Telkom Direct store and do it in person. No, of course no-one in any of the five different discussions you had with helplines and the store before installing the line actually mentioned this. That would constitute service, which runs counter to everything Telkom stands for.

Bastards. Also open to grant offers which would enable me to employ ninja assassins, preferably with a wholesale option.

1 Or "Japanese".
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