everything that happens will happen today

[freckles_and_doubt]

The last month or so has brought me to a depressing personal revelation, viz. (and I really do over-use that term) the fact that sustained stress makes me scatty. It's bizarre: my memory goes for a loop, I forget the most obvious things repeatedly, I seem to drift around achieving not much in a sort of a haze. (This possibly accounts for some of the breakdown in relations between me and my sister, since she responds to stress by allowing free reign to the inner control freak and requiring everything to be sorted out at once, now, immediately. We're driving each other bats.)

My dad's very ill at the moment; he's picked up the nasty 'flu bug that's going round (quite possibly swine 'flu, I suppose) and it's hit his motor neuron symptoms hard. He's incredibly weak and wobbly, and my thrice-blessed and amazing mother is looking after him as near to around the clock as we'll let her get away with. I spent a frenzied and unpleasant couple of hours yesterday afternoon arranging a home-care nurse person for him, at four o'clock on a Friday when most of the agencies were closed.

The scattiness quotient was admirably demonstrated by the fact that I then arrived to visit my dad, discovered that the buzzer at the electric gate wasn't working and tried to phone my mother only to find that my phone was out of airtime. It was also almost out of charge; I'm fortunate that I managed to drive around the block, acquire more airtime, load it and phone her before the damned thing died again. It was so in keeping with the tenor of the day at large that I responded to the whole thing with a sort of wearied shrug. Of course I have no airtime. See stress, scattiness, etc. As a sole gesture of instrumentality I have at least applied for a cellphone contract, which ought to sort out both the airtime issue and the one-day lifespan on the old phone's battery.

I am thus spending this weekend doing not much, with apologies to the various social engagements I've bunked. Sorry. I'll be a real person again soon, promise.

Comments

[origamitiger.livejournal.com]

I can vouch for stress over riding sense and organisation and taking forgetfulness and dropping things to a whole new level.

[(Anonymous)]

Me too. :-(
I hope your dad feels better soon.
everymoment

[extemporanea.livejournal.com]

He's a lot better today, thanks! Yesterday was terrifying, he pretty much slept solidly and was all disorientated when he woke up. Hopefully the hospice can take him tomorrow and my mother can take a break.