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[personal profile] freckles_and_doubt
Aargh! Staggered home last night at about 7.30 after the First Day Of Orientation, of which I shall not speak, dreaming gently of a quiet poached egg and bed, only to be met on the ruins of the patio by the Evil Landlord, palm up in a "You Shall Not Pass" sort of way. He'd clearly been lying in wait for me.

"Before you enter the house, I think you should prepare yourself," he said, in friendly but slightly doom-laden tones.

I wibbled slightly. Or possibly slightly more.

"The electrician's slightly ahead of schedule," he said.

I braced myself and peered around him through the fog of exhaustion. The house seemed to have suffered the involuntary descent of what appears to be a post-punk minimalist Goth sensibility. In the aftermath of my 12-hour day, it seemed curiously appropriate.

"Worst of all, I don't think we can get to the tea supplies," he said.

It's all a bit hazy from there onwards. Things went black. All I know is, the furniture is piled into heaps and shrouded in black plastic so the electrician can cut holes for wiring without saturating everything in dust. The 'fridge, the stove, the cupboards and the bookshelves are taped shut: I cannot access food, drink, utensils, the TV or the sink, the latter mostly because they've disconnected the U-bend without telling us. My study is moved into my bedroom, where it's causing me to have interesting nightmares about glowing red eyes because of all the computer lights. The cats are distraught, with brief breaks to enjoy the piles of felt all over the floor. As the crowning insult, the electricity is off today and tomorrow so there won't be any hot water.

My address for the next two days will be, when not imitating the action of the orientation tornado, chez [livejournal.com profile] smoczek and [livejournal.com profile] maxbarners, who promise to feed me and wash me and stroke my head gently. That is all.

Date: Tuesday, 19 January 2010 11:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wolverine-nun.livejournal.com
Here I was thinking you should get the EL dressed up as a giant pecan nut and pose, sproutingly, in the garden, specifically for K's photographic pleasure. Probably a bad time, then? Maybe later.

Date: Tuesday, 19 January 2010 12:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] schedule5.livejournal.com
I'd like that too. Rather a lot, actually :).

Date: Tuesday, 19 January 2010 02:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] extemporanea.livejournal.com
I think I can confidently say that the mental image completely made my day. I shall suggest it to him forthwith. The young must be kept entertained!

Date: Tuesday, 19 January 2010 03:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] extemporanea.livejournal.com
Also, "sproutingly" may be my new favourite adjective, especially as applied to the EL. I conceptualise his fronds waving gently in the breeze.

*snigger*

Date: Wednesday, 20 January 2010 12:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] first-fallen.livejournal.com
"his fronds waving gently in the breeze"

Now I need to bleach my brain :P.

Re: *snigger*

Date: Thursday, 21 January 2010 01:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] schedule5.livejournal.com
Quick- have a Unicorn Chaser! (The movie is the best bit :) )

Nuts

Date: Tuesday, 19 January 2010 02:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] first-fallen.livejournal.com
No-one told us the garden was full of German nuts! The children were startled :P.

Re: Nuts

Date: Wednesday, 20 January 2010 06:55 am (UTC)

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