we are the dead

[freckles_and_doubt]

There are actually upsides to these gosh-darned power cuts. They annoy the hell out of me, but (a) the computer being dead, I just spent an hour reading Bleak House, on the grounds that I'm overdue for my annual rediscovery of it, and (b) all the dear little students seem to shrug, roll their eyes and leave campus when the power goes down, which means that when it comes up again (and when some basement geek-minion has kicked all the servers back into reluctant life) the bandwidth accelerates with a mad sproinging noise and I can read webcomics. Yay!

Today's dose of Daily Voice tabloid weirdness: I can't remember if it was
ZOMBIES GUARDED BY EVIL DOGS! or
EVIL DOGS GUARD ZOMBIES!,
I suspect the latter. Either way, it represents the perfect tabloid hyperbolic piling up of extreme! instance! on top of extreme! instance! We can't have evil dogs guarding homes from burglars, or even quite well-behaved dogs guarding the zombie pit, every component must be exaggerated to its logical extent. Of course, the question why zombies need guarding must be on everyone's lips. Surely the point of zombies is that you don't want to prevent them from lurching out into society and devouring the flesh of the living?

Take2 just mailed me to say that my J.D. Robb order (four novels out of the first five in the series) has been shipped and should be in the post office even as I type. There goes the weekend, then... Which is just as well, I'm for some reason completely exhausted despite nine hours of sleep last night, and probably need to spend the weekend doing nothing much. Insert rhapsodic paean to Fridayness here. mac1235, I may or may not make your sushi-fest depending on my level of deadness tomorrow.

Comments

[egadfly.livejournal.com]

Surely the point of zombies is that you don't want to prevent them from lurching out into society and devouring the flesh of the living?

Exactly, which is why you must have evil dogs to guard them in case zombie hunters attack before your festering minions have done their OOOMM NOOOMM NOOOMM thing.

[extemporanea.livejournal.com]

But how do you stop the zombies from eating the dogs? Also, surely even an evil dog isn't as effective a guardian as a zombie? I feel the logic here is lacking.

[egadfly.livejournal.com]

Zombie hunters are equipped to deal with zombies, but who'd expect Evil Dogs? (Well, everyone, after reading the Daily Voice, I suppose.)

Besides, as they say, a zombie is only a zombie, but an evil dog can mesmerise you with its red glowing eyes while it rips your throat out and fills your open neck with satanic slobber. And smoke.

[extemporanea.livejournal.com]

Good lord, that's high quality evil you're hypothesising there. What if they're only slightly evil dogs? You know, pit bull with only a touch of Tindalos about the ears?

[egadfly.livejournal.com]

Now that's a scary thought. I mean, you know where you are with properly evil dogs. But only slightly evil dogs? While most of the animal would be innocently engaged in somewhat-cute, somewhat-mangy, flea-scratching, stick-chasing, tongue-lolling behaviour, you'd never know when the eevil bits would leap out and submerge you in sheer evilitude.

"The tips of their ears are lean and athirst!" It's. Just. Wrong.

[bumpycat.livejournal.com]

Well, if the zombies are confined in some way that their undead brains cannot overcome, but could be unleashed by some unwitting cheerleader or video store clerk ... then the obvious thing to do is to guard them with Eevil Dogs until you are ready to unleash them.

As an aside, in City of Villains, it was an extraordinarily hard decision for me whether my super-villain would have an army of zombies or an army of ninjas. If only I had had some eevil dogs to guard my army, too.

We have an annual event:

[veratiny.livejournal.com]

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=11123085887

Perhaps all we are missing is evil dogs!

Re: We have an annual event:

[(Anonymous)]

Ha, looks like fun!

Braaaainns!!


pinkZombie.

[extemporanea.livejournal.com]

That is seriously no contest. Ninjas every time. Far more efficient, as well as being more aesthetically pleasing. And hygienic.

[bumpycat.livejournal.com]

Since my mastermind costume (see previous comment about CoH costume design) is a ragged ninja outfit with a bandage over the eyes held in place with barbed wire, youy can assume that hygiene is not a priority for Alexei the Ruthless.